Sunshine and Daisies

I look at you, so small and frail
As you fight you look so pale

So many machines, so many wires
A nurse stands by that never tires

I want to hold you close to me
But right now, that just can't be

I miss your smile, your bright eyes
How I hate these sad goodbye's

Please wake up! I want to yell
But you don't, we are in Hell

I love you more than I can say
All I want is for you to stay

The doctor says it won't be
You are going to be leaving me

I tell myself the pain will end
But I guess that will depend

For you it will, this I know
Not for me, left far below

I close my eyes, I raise my face
I feel the warmth you will embrace

I can see you, beautiful and strong
Not here, where you belong

You are in a meadow, beside a brook
There are daisies everywhere I look

I can see you run, I can see you play
I can't make myself ask you to stay

Not here, not where you have to strain
To fight with all the problems and pain

My princess, my love, my happiness
Sweet child, all you touch, you bless

It's OK, I promise, don't fight for me
Rest my little one, and be free

Don't listen as I cry below
I understand that you must go

You belong in that meadow
Surrounded by that glow

Forever I will remember you
And when I do

I will always see you, running, laughing
A beautiful child, forever playing

In a perfect meadow
Surrounded forever
By sunshine and daisies

I love you my precious Little Bit
With all my heart and soul, forever
Aunt Sarah

For
Sommer Rose Barger
August 31, 2001 - February 18, 2005

LITTLE BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to share, whatever you are all doing out there in cyberspace, KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!! I just got off the phone with the hospital, Little Bit is improving remarkably! They had taken her off the paralytic drugs the day after she got there, they had to put them back last night because my little fighter was trying to remove the vent tube!!!! This is day 11 in the PICU, and for the last 5 days she has shown an amazing improvement. The dialysis is working well, they have drained 300 cc of fluid from her, she looks like my baby again! They have turned the vent down, they are weaning her off the blood pressure meds, and she is still improving!

Happy dance!!!!!!

Everyone who has been praying and wishing her well, I love you, and I can never thank you enough!

I need to go be ecstatic now!
All my love,
Blessed Be,
Dragonsong

Photos updated, sox done

I finished AJ's house sox (camo) Sunday night, and cast on another pair for me, the first is almost done now. As well as letting AJ dye wool for a felted hat (we used kool-aid), he made a skein half blue, half orange, and I have his hat cast on and a few rows done, it came out unique. I've got my speed knitting bug back, during the holidays I kinda got in a rut where I couldn't focus on knitting for a while. I think it was stress, or maybe lack of stress, since I'm all stressed out over Little Bit being in the hospital and I can't stop knitting now.

Speaking of Little Bit, she is still stable, and I think she is the only one of us who is. lol I added an album of all of the pictures I have of her to my photo album (see link at the right), and speaking of the photo album, I added 5 more pictures to the 2004 album, I had the kids get out and model things I made them last year that I still hadn't gotten pictures of yet, I think there are a few more to get, then I can tally the final number of FOs for the year! I also added to the 2005 album, now AJ's sox are ther, as well as the yarn he got to dye.

Now I have to go get ready for class :o( I'd rather be knitting...
Blessed Be
Dragonsong

I can't sleep, but the hat is done!!!

I have the worst tooth ache I think I have ever felt. I lost a filling last night, and it hurts soooooo bad. I can't lay down because for some reason that makes it worse, I can't drink anything, not even water, and I am really thirsty, and it just isn't shaping up to be a good night! I think I am basically drinking Orajel right now, and that's most likely bad, but hey, it's getting me through, sortof.

Anyway, I am excited about Chey's hat being done! Look!!!! My very first felting project! Now I'm hooked! I have a pair of clogs in the works for Chey, as soon as I can find my needle stash! And I have ordered the yarn for MIL's birthday gift, which will be a Felted Skull and Crossbones tote, only I'm doing it in pink with black skull and bones. AND inside it will be a pink and black version of D's skully sweater shown below! I just can't wait to give it to her, of course, I'm going to have to figure out what my brothers did with all of my needles so that I can get to work, her birthday is in May! And, I would love to do a few other things, but time management must be done, I have to make sure I have time to study for finals. lol I have also uploaded what pics I have of my projects into a yahoo photos account, and there is a link on the side, along with linkd to the non-profit group I run, one of my favorite email lists (Hi Socknitters!) and the church we go to! Boy, I have been productive tonight, now I see what I can accomplish when I am trying to keep my mind off pain. WOW!!!

On the Little Bit front, all is, well, stable, but hey, that's a good thing. I haven't called the hospital since the afternoon, because I have had not only my 3 munchkins, but Little Bit's big brother and sister as well, and this has been a madhouse, but I was promised that I would be called if anything changed, soooo, I guess nothing has changed!

I need to get off here, it's time for more painkillers, and then maybe I'll be able to cuddle up with a book and get some sleep, I hope, these 5 kids are going to be up early!

Blessed Be
Dragonsong

After felting 

Before felting 

Little Bit, and the hat

Little Bit first, she has stabilized enough for them to start slow dialysis, which they did at midnight last night. We actually have hope now! I just want her to be OK, I want to hold her again. It's so hard seeing her laying there under all those tubes and wires. I miss her so much.

Now the hat! I am within sight of the end of knitting on Cheyenne's felted hat, I'm hoping to post a pre felted pic today, and I may even get around to a post felting one tomorrow! I am done with AJ's first camo socky, and will cast on for the second as soon as I get the hat done.

So, I am back to the needles now!

Blessed Be!
Dragonsong

Here is Little Bit and my D, two of the three most beautiful, most important women in my life. 

This is my sweet Little Bit, last June, isn't she the most beautiful thing in the world! 

Not very good news

My Little bit is not doing well at all, she went into cardiac arrest last night (monday), I sure tore out of class after that call, my profs have been told that I will be carrying my cell, and I will be leaving if her condition worsens, so far they have all bent over backwards to help any way they can, it's been so nice of everyone to try to help. I just wish she would improve, I want to hold her again. I miss holding my Little Bit, and cuddling while we read a book, or just watching the kids play.

I was holding her hand last night, and talking to her, and she kept twitching her fingers against mine. I know, a lot of you would say I was imagining it, but she twitched her lip when I touched her foot, like it tickled. I want her to wake up.

I've been working on camo socks for my 6 yr old ds between visits, and the felted hat, but the socks are more portable. I don't have much heart for knitting right now. To be honest, I don't have much heart for anything at this point.

Dragonsong

What a week!!!

I haven't been on the computer in a while because first, my son went downhill really quick and we have been giving him breathing treatments and a ton of meds since Wed. Then, when it looked as though he was getting better, Friday morning my niece (who may as well be my daughter because I love her like she is, and I have her as much as I can) was life flighted to Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh. Sommer (I call her Little Bit) has cerebral palsy, and a severe seizure disorder, she is 3 1/2 years old, she only weighs 17 lbs, she doesn't talk, walk, or, well, move much. She is a very special little girl though, and I adore having her in my life, we have a bond that can't be put into words. Friday Morning they found her, she had a really bad seizure, she vomited, and then aspirated it, and she wasn't breathing. They got her resuscitated, and they sent her to Pitt. Right now she is in a coma in the PICU, and she is in very bad shape, though she is improving slowly. It is the saddest thing I have ever seen looking down at that beautiful baby laying there, and this is the second time I've had to do it, she was like this after birth to, she spent almost 2 months in the NICU down there, and at first she was in a coma and on the very same type of ventilator! This is just awful.

Since this is a knitting blog, I'll give you the obligatory fiber content, to keep from going crazy I have been working on a crochet along afghan with my mother, I'll post pics later, I can't find the camera (I think it's lack of sleep), it's a cat design, and I have been working on a felted hat for my daughter. Once again, pics to follow. This is my first felted project, I can't wait to see how it comes out, at least it has kept my mind off of everything going on, for the moment.

Back to my needles, after I call the hospital,
Dragonsong

The shawl, and more

I was knitting in the Dr. office with my son this afternoon, I think they like our visits, they get to see my latest creations, I am out of the yarn I was working with, and now I can't decide if I want to call it quits or continue with a coordinating color, maybe a nice blue..... Hmmmmm

Anyway, I have a new project to plan for now, I am going to design, then knit a wedding gown, with as much celtic inspiration as I can put into it. This is going to be a fun ride! I'll post lots of pics as I go.

I'm going to go to class, have a great day.
Dragonsong