Today at the cemetery

This is what I took to the cemetery today, to my "Little Bit", Sommer. I still can't believe it's been 2 years already. Nothing breaks your heart as bad as the death of a child. There is a folder of pictures of her in my Yahoo photos, follow the link "Photo album" at right. The link to Little Bit of Heart is the organization we run in her memory.

Two years, and I still wake up expecting to go pick her up. Then it all comes crashing back. She'd be 5 1/2 years old now. So many things we are missing. The only comfort I have is knowing that she is waiting for me to be with her. But I still miss her so much. I have spent the last month trying to not cry. And failing miserably. I cry at such stupid things, commercials, little girls her age in the store, the sight of her things, which is hard, since I have some of her toys and a doll wearing her last Yule dress on a shelf in our bedroom.

I'm losing my mind, right?

I thought so too.

Blessed Be,

Dragonsong

New member of the family

We adopted a little Chi, see! This is my girl, with our little girl, Maddie. Ignore the time/date stamp, it's off, we've only had her for about 2 weeks. I have been itching to find a little sweater pattern that is worthy of her! I've actually gotten back to being able to knit for a little while at a time, I'm up to about half an hour at a time now.

Maddie loves to sit on our shoulders, and she sleeps in between us under the covers, guess what that cuts into......... :o( LOL She is so spoiled!

I have some more pictures to post, hopefully tomorrow.

TTFN,

Blessed Be,

Dragonsong

The flu, and my inability to knit

Our whole house has had the flu all week, doesn't that sound great, me and my girl, as well as all 3 kids, sick, cranky, and miserable. Talk about a great week. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Oh, wait, it does.

I still can't knit, after over a month. I get these weird migraines that make me lose control of my left side, the first one was in 2003, shortly before I met my girl, they put me in the hospital because they thought I had a stroke. At 24! Anyway, I'm a lousy patient, and had a fit and left the hospital, but that is another story, involving a latex allergy that this hospital really didn't care about. They did it another time too, but that time I was simply to sick to fight back. I almost died of pneumonia, in August! I am such a freak!

But back to the story at hand, I had another one of those wonderful migraines about a month ago, I was fine, then suddenly I had this searing pain in my head, so bad that I didn't know where I was or anything, and my left side just stopped working with me. I was having trouble walking, I kept falling for the first week, then my leg started working better, but I am still working on getting full control of my hand, it is returning slowly, but I can only knit for a few minutes and it just hurts to much to go on.

Only someone whose world involves knitting as much as mine can fully appreciate what this is doing to me. I knit EVERY day, sometimes ALL day. I am getting so depressed that I can't function because of the pain in my hand. I have been trying to fill my knitting time with other things, you should see my scrapbook area, it's totally reorganised and it looks great. I have been sewing more, doing some quilting. It just isn't the same. Knitting calms me down. Which is important when caring for an autistic kid with severe ADHD. I NEED calm!

On an up note, my girl has been getting into quilting a little bit, she loves miniatures, and she has been getting into mini quilts.

Blessed be,
Dragonsong